I’ve come across a lot of web chatter lately concerning the Catholic church’s request to local dioceses to not provide membership information with the LDS church.

First, I’m sure this request has a practical side to thing. I’m sure that the Catholic church is concerned about member privacy, though it may not be the major reason for the communication. While the information the LDS church requests of Catholic churches pertains to the dead, any breach of privacy is a potential for trouble.

That aside, I have to admit, the LDS church has a tendency of stepping on someone’s toes and immediately shouting “what? I didn’t do anything wrong!” just after.

Most Mormons won’t get why the Catholic church, and a few years back, some of the Jewish faith, have a problem with the LDS church and baptism for the dead. Many members will say something to the effect of, “so what? You don’t believe in our religion anyway.” There’s always a slick retort to those critical of the LDS church, and this instance is no exception.

The problem is, the LDS church and its members are rude, disrespectful, and inconsiderate of religious tolerance all while demanding equality within the religious community. The Catholic church doesn’t believe the LDS church is true, surely, but they have the decency to respect the LDS church’s right to practice religion as they see fit. In the meantime, the LDS church, in it’s quest to convert the many billions of people who have been, are, and will be here on the earth, don’t mind propagating the notion that the LDS church is the ONLY true church. Not only that, but the notion that exalted salvation in the next life, as well as communion with God, can only be possible through LDS baptism and temple rites.

So, to make it all simple, the LDS church wants the other kids to play fair and recognize their legitimacy while silently and swiftly undermining the legitimacy of the one they’ve demanded equality from. Wouldn’t anyone consider that rude? Wouldn’t you rather protect the sacred dignity of your deceased? LDS baptism is nothing more than an incidental slap in the face to any other organized religion. It’s much like my example – stepping on someone else’s foot and immediately acting as if no wrong was done, or even worse, that the wrong was putting the squashed foot there in the first place.

The LDS church can have it’s baptism for the dead. But I don’t believe they should be baptizing anyone who wasn’t submitted as an ancestor of a current temple-going member of the LDS church. Baptize a member’s ancestor – don’t baptize the entire obituary column, half a cemetery, and some old church’s membership roster from 1860. It’s rude and its wrong.

Anger:
A strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence

I hate anger.

I spend a lot of energy on preventing anger. I prevent anger at work. I prevent anger in the car. I prevent anger at work. I prevent anger in my sleep.

I do anything I can to keep the possibility of anger out of my life. I crave peace and stability, even at the cost of peace and stability. It's a constant juggle, moving one piece of my life in a way to keep another piece of my life from leading toward disarray. When I can't get things in order, when peace and stability can no longer be shifted around to create balance, I lose it.

I get impatient. I get frustrated. I get angry. No, I get full of rage. I'm consumed by it, even if only inside. It takes even more of my energy to contain my rage. And it takes doubly more to repair the damage done if it is not contained.

I can never lose control of any aspect of my life. It puts my world into a tailspin that I cannot recover from. I've learned this once before. I know not to let it happen again.

But, sometimes, something so difficult, something so impossible to balance, crashes into reality.

I'm losing control over everything in my life. I feel like it's all about to come crashing down, and I don't know how to stop it.

Maybe it needs to crash. Maybe the anger can no longer be contained.

Or maybe I'm simply playing with fire.

I hate what anger brings.

The Voice of Anger: NaBloPoMo May 2008

Tonight, Jill and I went to California Pizza Kitchen. I was reminded of a sandwich I had, years ago, that I will never forget.

La and I were traveling from Salt Lake City to Raleigh, which was home at the time. Our daughter was with us. As I recall, we were all hungry and hadn't had time to eat before going to the Salt Lake airport. We arrived in Phoenix with a little time to spare and barely any cash (we lived on very little money then). I looked around for some food - something quick, but not too expensive. Most of the restaurants were terribly busy. I found a cart operation selling sandwiches.

I bought two sandwiches, which we took with us on the plane. We figured we would have a long flight back to Raleigh, so we would eat the food on the way. I'm sure it was Southwest we were flying, because we usually did back then, and they almost always had long flights with next to nothing to eat.

We got on the airplane and couldn't stand the hunger much longer. Before takeoff, we were opening the sandwiches.

The first thing that hit us was the smell. They smelled absolutely delicious. But then - holy hell - we started eating them. To this day I still recall the taste of the sandwich as it fist danced across my tongue. I've craved it ever since.

That was my first exposure to California Pizza Kitchen - a small cart operation on the side of the hallway in the Phoenix airport. They had, I was sure, the best damn sandwich I'd ever tasted. It was a mix of lettuce and chicken in Caesar dressing and shaved parmesan inside a focaccia bread encrusted with sweet onions.

Tonight, I had it again.

I've been to California Pizza Kitchen a handful of times since the Phoenix airport years ago, but never got the sandwich. For some reason, I've been convinced it was different, or lately, that I would look like an idiot ordering a Caesar sandwich with a Caesar salad. This evening, I threw caution to the wind. Good hell, it was a smart move. It IS the same sandwich. Thank who or whatever, I can finally experience the legendary sandwich again!

Dining at CPK tonight, I was reminded of the first time I ever sat in that restaurant for a meal: just after losing a potential internal job to a rival, for a job where he became my boss. It was an awkward lunch, but in all, probably the best meeting I ever had with him. All the rest after that lunch really sucked.

At the end of the meal, the waitress handed us two envelopes with CPK's logo all over it. We're supposed to keep it closed and come in sometimes to see if inside we won something. That reminded me of my winning streak these last 25 years.

I've only one a few things in my life. One was the canned food raffle at Evans Elementary in Wappingers Falls, NY. I won a lot of food from the raffle. The kids in my class had been bringing in canned food for a month to give away to someone in the class (we were all in need, I guess). We received a raffle ticket for each can we brought in. I was shocked to discover I'd won the lot of food, which we eventually gave to my uncle Ed, who needed it more than we did.

Aside from that, the only other thing I recall winning was a small set of "Legions of Power" toys from a Nestle Quick contest. Talk about woo hoo.

But I have to say, the sandwich was excellent.

Today was my day off. Today was a day for errands. Normally I try to spend some time writing on my days off, but today I had some things to take care of as well as a few things I needed to look into.

Whenever my son hears me say we need to run errands, he gets excited. He thinks were going to Aaron's house. Or maybe it's Erin's house. I'm not quite sure, since he's not quite sure if Aaron/Erin is a boy or a girl. But he's sure we're going to this person's house, and gets a little disappointed when we end up at Lowe's instead.

Today I started pricing out for a huge job this year - re-roofing the house. The people idiots who lived here previously installed 5-year quality shingles on 20-year quality shingles that were 25 years old. As my home inspector indicated, you can expect half the lifetime of a shingle when it's places on old shingles that should have been removed long ago. Not only is it about that time (or later), it shows.

My roof is angled on the edges. I don't what to call it. It's gabled with half-hips on each side. Anyway, the side roof on the right side of the picture is in such poor shape that, as I discovered today while measuring the roof, in many areas I only have the tar paper the asphalt material used to be attached to. This section of roof only has one layer - probably because they ran out of materials or gave up before finishing it. I've pulled up the failing sections of roof on the other areas of the house and found the old shingles to be as horrible. In some areas, there's moss growing between layers of shingle. Oh, and the best part is, if you look at the chimney in the picture, on the left side of the house over the garage - yeah, I don't actually have a fireplace of any kind. Previous owners idiots took it out but left the chimney, as well as a persistent leak whenever it rains. I can re-roof around the chimney, or I can tear it out and put down shingles. Or I can make myself a lookout tower and pretend to be a pirate.

In any case, the shingles are crap, and that's saying it nicely.

OK, they're shit.

So I'm not sure what I'll end up doing as far as shingle type. Lowe's had a specific selection of shingle - the basics, and more available by order. The roof, however, leads me to another problem and another of today's errands: the evaporative cooler.

The fancy term for what I use to cool the house is an evaporative cooler. The locals call them swamp coolers. I call it a useless pain in my ass. They're really only effective in dry climates, such as Utah. For those outside of the desert west, you basically infuse a fibrous material with water and have a huge blower fan suck air from outside through the wet filter. This produces a cooling, humidifying effect. Scratch that - it produces a temporary, ineffective temperature change within ten feet of the single air register. It sucks... air.

As previously mentioned, I need to figure something out concerning my house's temperature control needs. I have suffered the last few years with this useless excuse for a cooling system.

Today, my trip to Lowe's included needing to find a way to make the swamp cooler work without spending a ton of money. The last couple years I've noticed the tubes which inundate the swamp cooler filters with water don't work well. I didn't realize I could buy a new set of tubes for less than ten bucks. If I had, I would have fixed it a few years ago. In any case, I got some descaler to remove the mineral deposits from everything, a filter to purify the water to avoid more deposits, and new tubes to replace the old ones. I also bought a nifty tube snake to clear out the old tubes, even though I didn't need it with new tubes going in. I knew I would find other uses for it. And it was pretty freaking funny holding something that looks like a screwdriver but jiggles like a wet noodle on a stick.

So I uncovered the cooler (the big, nasty, brown box on the top of my house) today, cleaned it up, put in the new part, and got it running. The house went from 78 to 70 within an hour. Right now, it's 60 degrees within one foot of the single air register where the cool air comes out. It's probably 75 through the rest of the house, but hey, it's better than 78, right?

My biggest problem comes in a month or two when the heat gets above 85. Above 85 degrees, the swamp cooler is completely ineffective, as you can't do much to beat the heat. Well, it's more ineffective than it's current ineffectiveness. But you get the idea.

So, in addition to the swamp cooler, I may add a fan to the side of my house to pull hot air out of the attic. In North Carolina we used fans like this all the time. It reduces the heat and humidity in your attic, which (in theory) makes the attic cooler, in turn making the house cooler. I know it worked in North Carolina. I've replaced one before, and it made a noticeable (though not totally effective) difference.

The only problem with adding a fan is my roof's lack of ventilation eaves. The overhang of the roof goes all around the house, but with absolutely no ventilation sections to allow air to flow into the attic space. Adding a house fan will create a suction on the swamp cooler, which has an enormous amount of air pressure, which will create a peculiar air flow through the house. Not to mention how ineffective it will be. I'll be pushing cool air into the attic and immediately sucking it out.

So, my option might be to get an AC unit installed. If it were simple enough to install myself, I would. It's not, and I can't. Therefore, getting one and having it installed will be expensive. I don't personally know anyone in the AC business here. But it might be worth it - having cool air flow through the house would be nice. Especially when it's 90 degrees or more outside. No more sleeping (not) in 80 to 85 degree air.

Here's the rub - my errand to price out roofing materials and my need for a cold house are running into each other. The swamp cooler uses a rather large hole in the roof - about two feet in every direction. If I replace the swamp cooler with an AC unit, I need to pull the cooler out, meaning I need to plug and roof the hole. If I re-roof the house, I need to make sure I keep future air conditioning plans in mind as well, not to mention pulling out my chimney/pirate lookout and fixing the hole there as well.

If I had known how badly the old owners were screwing my over, I wouldn't have bought the house. I've replaced the furnace and water heater. I've repaved the driveway. I need to get a new roof, change out a cooling system that really blows, plant all new grass (they threw RYE GRASS seed on the lawn! Who the hell does that with 90-degree weather? The stuff needs to be drowned in water or it turns brown when it hits 85 degrees.), install a sprinkler system, and eventually replace the siding. And, don't forget that almost every square inch of flooring on the top level squeaks and moves. I need new carpet, new subflooring, and because the floor shifts I'll eventually be replacing or fixing the slate tile in the kitchen as well as the ceramic tile in the bathroom.

Damn all of you, Aarons.

Tonight, on my way home from work, I stopped for some groceries at Macey's.

For those of you not blessed with this grocery chain in your area (basically, anything outside of the Utah Wasatch Front), you're missing out on a most enjoyable experience.

My main reason for shopping at Macey's - ok, so the ONLY reason I shop there - is for El Rio brand nacho cheese. They have, for a few years now, been stocking the only brand of nacho cheese I truly enjoy. Every three or four months I go to Macey's and buy a few cans of this stuff. Occasionally, I might stop for something else merely because it's on the right side of the road while heading home or to pick up the kids after work.

In the past, I've enjoyed the employees at the checkout. They're all young and friendly. They greet me when they start checking out my items, and say thank you when I turn to leave.

That is, unless I buy beer.

The first time I bought beer there, I thought maybe it was the employee. But every time I've checked out with liquor in my groceries I get treated like 100% crap.

Tonight was no exception. I decided to pick up some Smirnoff Ice, seeing as how it will soon be illegal to buy it in the State of Utah in a matter of months, I'd decided to buy as much as I could for myself and all the underage drinkers outside (kidding, of course - they usually don't bother with the weak crap anyway). I had gone in knowing I wanted some, and ready to see if the record for treating me like crap was going to continue. I went to the front with one six-pack of Smirnoff Ice grape flavor.

The kid at the checkout touched it (or more to the point, didn't) as if it were contaminated with feces contaminated with worms contaminated with cooties. He promptly called for management, at which point I noticed he was under 21 and could not sell me beer. We waited. And waited. I was about to give up when a lady appeared, who scanned the package and checked my ID for an unusually long time (the grey hairs in my beard scream of underage drinking), then in the most robotic tone possible, announced my total. I swiped my card as the bag with the beer rolled down the conveyor. The original checker had been bagging and loading my cart, and would not touch the bag with the Smirnoff in it. The manager handed my my receipt and, for the first time, looked at me. She never said a word. I thanked her and grabbed the bag of evil alcohol, placing it in my cart. The checker let me put the last two bags in the cart as well. I smiled and said thank you to him, for which I was rewarded with a small nod of the head and total silence.

As I walked away, I couldn't help but shake my head.

Macey's is a local company. They are one of the few chains closed on Sundays (they're open 24 hours, except for the 24 hours on Sundays). I would assume, knowing next to nothing about the 10-store chain affiliated with Associated Food Stores, that the Macey's stores are owned by religiously-minded people. Given the makeup of Utah, I would probably be safe in assuming they are Mormon. Given their strict adherence to not working on the Sabbath, and that their predominate customer appears to be LDS, I'm a bit shocked that they even sell alcohol to begin with.

I don't understand why I have to be treated like a second-class citizen just for buying beer. Actually, I do. I spent eight years in Mormonism - I know exactly how it is. It's an unspoken rule, but a rule by practice nonetheless: shun those who sin.

It's as easy as that.